writing, music and all things my opinion

One thing I'm excited for is Christmas time. Not just the day of, but the whole season, because if you focus only on christmas day as some big huge event, then you end up disappointed. I love all of it, I love the cartoons, and movies, I love spending time with people I care about, I love the decorations. This year I'm going to not focus on it as one single day, but instead I'm going to enjoy the whole season each day and enjoy each "christmassy" thing I do or watch. I love Christmas so much and I especially love the real meaning of Christmas, which is that Christ chose to be born of a virgin in a poor family to die for us. This part of the challenge couldn't have came at a better time. Merry Christmas everyone.

I guess I turned 21 in 2006, I honestly don't even remember that birthday, like at all... umm I really don't remember what I did. This is awkward. I remember moments of life, I'm not at all good with dates, so... that's all.

I don't know if I use any particular words or phrases constantly but I have been told that I say "definitely" a lot, like rainman. And I've been told that I say "like" a lot, which I'm not proud of, like totally not. I don't really have a lot to say about that but I like definitely am excited to be done with this challenge soon.

What I wore today, well that's kind of funny because today is the first day I've been able to do my full workout since I got a cold last week. So for part of the day I was in workout gear, which involves these awesome yoga pants. However today is my real day off, no errands or anything and no work, so I am currently in my go-to lounging outfit which is VS PINK sweatpants and a band T-shirt. These are kind of my favorite things to wear, I'm forever a college student, even had taco bell for dinner. I feel like being a writer and being artistic allows for me to be like this without judging myself too much. Call me Mavis Gary with hopefully a better ending. Judge her all you want, but remember she was a successful author.

To all my exes, I'd like to say thank you. Thank you to most for being a lesson in what I don't want. And some of you for teaching me what I do want. And some of those are all mixed together. And some of you aren't technically exes at all, but you still fit in this somehow. Thank you to the one or two nice ones that I still get along with for being kind and proving the other ones wrong about how crazy and awful I am. Since we can get along just fine, I think it goes without saying where the problem really lies. And to you, the male version of me, you have taught me a lot, mostly how to not be ashamed of who I am, you taught me how to love myself and I will never regret what we had all those years ago. I've just started a new 'something' and because of all that I've learned in life to this point, I am a better person for him, I see in him all that I want, and I'm still learning about him but so far, it's literally crazy that this happened, right whe

Just four? okay, four weird traits I have... Number one, I guess would be that I have a good memory. That sounds normal but it's almost at a eidetic level. I've often gotten comments about it, positive and negative. It's sort of like a photographic memory but mine is more based on audio. I remember what people said or what I have read or thought about. Not good with remembering date or figures at all. Just moments, tv or movie scenes, lyrics. Number 2, I'm a nerd, I get super into things that I like. PLL, once upon a time, hey arnold. I'm a major nerd. Number 3, I get emotionally attached to fictional characters, if they are portrayed by a good actor and are well written. Number 4, I am a cinephile, I love old movies and I love thinking about moments in scenes, I analyze the writing and acting and moments of a film's aesthetic. I guess that could fit into the nerd category but I didn't want to get too deep into this... there are like so many more w

This is not very bold or dramatic of me and as a writer, that's a no-no, but at this time, so much has been going on with me and everyone else it seems like, that I'm not going to go into anything depressing, I miss a lot of people who have passed, I miss a cute boy who I just saw this morning, I miss Pretty Little Liars, and I will really miss it when it is over. How about instead of talking about something specific that I miss, I write about what it could mean to miss something? sound alright? Yes? Okay good. There are so many different levels of missing someone or something. Like missing the old days, your childhood, tv shows that are no longer airing. That's nostalgia. Then there is missing someone who has passed on, and that is grief. But what do you call it when you're not heartbroken, but you miss someone you care about? I can't think of a word that fits with that kind of missing someone. Maybe longing? which is defined as a yearning desire? but you

I can't really believe this is one of them but then again, I have a lot to say about this. There are some people in my family that I am closer too, mostly based on actual geographical location. I've had ups and downs with most of my family. Whether it was disapproving of something they were doing or whether they got mad at me. Actually I have a family member that is probably currently mad at me right now over politics, and it's one of my favorite people in the world. But first of all that person is family, I don't care if she lit me on fire, I would still love her. Because the thing is the only reason I have ever gotten mad at any member of my family, is because I wanted what was best for them. I have never actually disliked someone in my family and I would never, ever turn my back on not a single one of them. I know eventually things will settle down and we'll be friends again. And I don't care how mad they are at me or vice versa, I would literally die for t

My morning routine consists first of coffee, coffee and more coffee. I seriously need like thirty minutes to just set and stare at the wall and drink coffee before I am actually considered awake. Then I read my Bible, practice keyboard and do my work out. I stop midway through my workout to eat literally the same thing every day, which is blueberry shredded wheat cereal with real blueberries (for muscle recovery) and almond milk. And I drink a v8 energy drink that's energy part is only from green tea. That takes up a lot of time, and after that I get cleaned up and ready for the rest of the day.

Obviously I don't believe in horoscopes because I'm over 14 and they have been scientifically proven to mean nothing. But some of the things of a Libra fit with my personality but that's obviously a coincidence. Anyone could guess things and be accurate 50% of the time. However I do enjoy learning about myself so I am more into the meyers-briggs personality test. I'm 51% INFP and 49% INFJ and they both fit. It's not some random mumbo-jumbo stuff, it's an actual personality test made by real psychologists. After I took it and read up on my personality, a lot of things make a lot more sense to me.

1) "walk away" by Christina Aguilera... well this is one of the best songs by Christina in my opinion, vocally and lyrically. She wrote this song and the lyrics are almost completely perfect. It's so moving and sad, and you can really feel that she means what she is singing about. I have many times related to this song on a personal level. It's very 1950's loungey sounding as well, I love it. 2) "Man of constant sorrow" as covered by Sawyer Fredericks... I really liked the live version of this better, he sang it for his blind audition, this song got popular because of that movie and everyone knows that, but also, even though this is a "cover" it's original singer/writer is unknown, it's an old folk song that people used to sing. 3)"Bring me to Life" by Evanescence... I remember the exact moment I realized this song was written about Jesus. I LOVE this song, it is literally one of my favorite songs of all time. Amy Lee i

my top fear is that people won't get saved, mostly the people that I love, but also other people. I want to everyone to get saved, even people that I can't stand (I don't hate anyone). honestly, I have anxiety so I have other fears but no real ones. None of them have much weight because this world is temporary. I guess the others would be like not becoming a professional writer, not being able to ever see my true love. Things like that. I am not much for fears of heights or bugs, etc. Like I said I get anxious but in the end I know God will take care of me.

My favorite color used to be pink, I even had a pink car, no joke. Now I lean toward tiffany blue, it just always makes everything look elegant. This is short and I'm sorry but I love all colors for lots of reasons and it's hard to describe how they make me feel.

Of course because being a Christian is the most important thing about me and my life, the quote I try to live by is a Bible verse. "There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus." Gal 3:28 Everyone is created equally, Jesus died for every single person, NO ONE is worthless. This is something everyone needs to understand and realize. We have recently had an issue with that in this country and it sadness me and disgusts me. But I'm not going into a debate about that right now. But being racist is wrong, being sexist is wrong, discriminating against different financial "classes" is wrong. God loves everyone.

It's kind of funny to me that certain people are so nosy about my life and yet when I have to say what I do all day it's literally so boring, aside from writing and my art and music, which isn't boring at all to me. I wake up and have coffee work out except on sunday church on sundays go to work if I work that day sing or listen to music or just do random stuff like watch fanmade music videos set to scenes from OUAT or PLL  go walk with mom eat dinner sometimes tan read my Bible and do devotions  practice piano  sleep I mean there are random other things splashed in randomly but thats about the normal things I do everyday

Three pet peeves, first would be people chewing loudly, I have misophonia where certain noises literally drive me mad. Loud chewing makes me want to put my head through a wall. Second, when people are fake, I can't stand when people live their life to impress other people. When actually other people aren't ever really impressed by what you're doing, the kind of people that are impressed by the things people fake, are the same ones doing it themselves so they are too busy faking their own lives to even pay attention to the other people doing it. And third, when anyone is mean to animals. This might sound cruel but even when a small child is not handling an animal correctly, I get enraged and want to slap them. But mainly I get mad at the parents when they just let it happen. Animals are innocent and people are not.

In seven years I would like to be a published author. I'd like to be married to or living with the guy that I love. We'd have a dog or two and I'd like a pool and a small but well decorated house. I can't put into words the way I want things to be then not in detail, not the little moments that would happen and the things I'd want to do on a daily basis, except for those major details. And yes I am thinking of a specific person, otherwise I am not the least bit concerned with getting married or dating anyone at all. And I am working on a lot of writing and I believe in all of my dreams and hopes regardless how crazy they sound to most people. In reference to my career and my love life, both.

My commute to work is a small one, I walk to work. I have to walk through a yard or two and sometimes, when the grass is kind of long, I like to pretend like I'm on Jurassic Park. "stay out of the long grass" and all that. I sometimes run like I'm running from Raptors, and yes I am an adult. That is all.

This one was hard becuase a lot of what makes something funny is timing and context. But I am trying to think of some, the first one is going to make me look like a pretentious nerd but it's a shakespeare quote: "I would challenge you to a battle of wits but I can see you are unarmed." I like that one because it's not in your face humor which I don't like at all. And another one is the word "awkward" but of course only placed right. Like "that awkward moment" I like those kind of jokes. And this one was very short and I'm sorry. "That awkard moment when your blog post is too short and is supposed to be about something funny but the post is not funny at all"

I am currently single, and I'm not unhappy about it. I know the reasons why I am single and I am fine with it. A lot of people would call it "too picky" and I'm okay with that as well. What most people see about me is that I am way into women's rights (which I am) and that I'm against romance or romantic love. That is not the case at all. What I am against is "settling" I see it way too often. I am in love with someone I can't be with and dating anyone else would be "settling" and I don't want to do that to anyone or to myself. Plus this idea that women are not complete without a husband, or that marriage is some sort of "goal" to be achieved. That is not what love is, not just in my perspective, but in reality. I see posts a lot that really are harmful to society that say things like "if someone loves you they will be with you all the time" and things like that, and that is truly ridiculous. Women and men b

This one is kind of weird, I really love fruits and veggies, so I had to look at a list of fruits online to see if there are any that I don't like. And I guess beets are a fruit? who knew? anyway those are gross, sorry Dwight Schrute but they are. I like the band off "doug" called "the beets" (obviously a reference to the beatles). Anyway, I think I've tried a beet once, and it tasted like nothing but dirt, I don't like the texture or anything about them. Well that's all.  *writer's note: guess I looked at the list wrong and beets are a vegetable. Okay well I don't like figs or avocados for essentially the same reason I don't like beets. But seriously avocados should not be considered a fruit. Who decides these things?  

I have recently had a huge problem with this. Especially this year for some reason. The term "millennials" for example. People act like this is the first generation of teenagers to be rebellious or to act like, well, teenagers. But what really bothers me, is the things that bother people about millennials. For example: girls are becoming feminists at younger ages, girls wearing what they want, standing up against racism and bullying and heaven forbid young people use slang (something that's been happening since recorded history, google it). It's not violence, or bullying or anything that hurts anyone that bothers people about millennials, it's selfies and starbucks. It's that they care about other human beings and about other's feelings. Sometimes it does get out of hand and I'll admit that. But there is a meme on the internet about how much more wonderful it was in WW2 when teenagers were forced into war, and how awful it is now that "entitled

A book I love would first and foremost be the Bible because I literally love it like you would a person because it essentially is. I loved Catch-22 and Karen Kingsbury books. I love reading just about any book besides textbooks. Unless they are on a subject I like, like psychology for example. Anyway, the only book I really despise and wish didn't exist is "50 shades", I have several reasons why, which I won't go into, because that would take all day. That "book" is bad for humanity. Anyway since I haven't actually read that, I would say a book I've read but didn't like would be "dreamcatcher" by stephen king. I mean I have read too many of his books to name or count. I know what he's about and his style.And I always enjoy them for the most part. (I have a love/hate relationship to his writing) But I can't say I don't like any of his other ones. But for some reason with "dreamcatcher" I just could not enjoy it, t

Well I don't have any tattoos. I'm not sure if they are a "sin" or not. I don't judge people for having them, I honestly think some of them look really cool. The main reason I don't get one is because I change what I'm "into" a lot. For example; if I'd have gotten one as a teenager it might've said "freakychic" (don't ask) or would've been spongebob or something. Honestly I would love to have the option of a temporary tattoo, that looks like a real one. (not one from a quarter machine). And I know there are henna tattoos, but they are always tribal, and I would and probably will get a henna tattoo more than once in my life. I would just like to have something that is exactly like a regular tattoo but isn't permanent. Anyway, if I were to get one, I have a few things in mind of what I would get. Something I would get after getting married would be a verse of scripture from the Song of Solomon 6:3 "I am my belov

Day 6- I am fascinated by how much Jesus loves me. I can't even fathom the depths of it. When I think of all that He suffered just to have me, me, wretched, self-centered, ocd having, obsessive me. Nothing I could ever do or say could earn that love. And nothing I could ever do or say could make Him stop loving me. That is just amazing to me. If I had been the only person that He could save, He'd have still suffered all that He did just for me. He died for all, and He also died for each.

Day 5- A place that I would live but have never visited. I can think of several places I'd love to visit and might live there; Greece, Ireland, Australia, but the number one place that I would definitely considering living would be Paris. It just seems like you can never be depressed in Paris. Everything in Paris is elegant and it seems so relaxed and romantic. My bedroom is even Paris themed. It reminds me of fashion and Audrey Hepburn.

Ten interesting facts about myself. The most interesting thing about me is that I'm a Christian, it's the most important thing about me. I base everything else I do or that I'm about around that.  I am an introvert, I'm not just "shy" I don't need help learning how to talk more, I don't want to talk more. I enjoy solitude.  I almost always pick out one or two tv shows to LOVE for a while, first it was Ally McBeal, then Sex and the City, and now my fav of all PLL, and once upon a time, there is a pattern here (strong female leads)  I love the gift of writing God has given me, I love writing and I have so many ideas that sometimes I can't get them out fast enough On that note I am currently working on 3 books and have about 3 more ideas for books in my pocket, waiting to start them when I'm done with at least 2 of the ones I'm working on. One of the books I'm writing currently is all true events.  I am currently in love with so

My first love is way different than my first kiss. I'll talk about my first kiss first because it was literally awful. I had a friend that liked to play "pranks" on me, so one day she decided to set me up with someone. We both went to a local skating rink and met with the guys we were talking to. The guy she set me up with was not at all what I expected. I had talked to him on the phone... it was like the 90's version of being catfished. Anyway I didn't want to hurt his feelings, and I didn't know what to do. I let him kiss me once, then I ended up in the bathroom for most of the night, hiding. My first love, is actually Jesus Christ. But I know this challenge means romantic love and I'm not really even sure who the first person I loved was. I mean there are so many different levels, and once you meet someone that you feel is your "true love" the others don't seem to fit that description anymore. So if we are talking about someone I first

Obviously I'm not doing these daily... but it still counts, it's Day 2 of this. Some of my earliest memories are just small flashes of imagery. Just random things. However, some of my early memories are very dear to me. I remember being around seven years old and laying on the top bunk of my bed and I heard a voice say my name. I don't know how I knew but I knew it was God. It was an audible voice, not just in my head. I don't know how much later, not much, is when I got saved at Bible school. He called my name, and that is probably the earliest, most important memories I have. 

Day 1- Five Problems with Social Media  Bullies and Trolls. The biggest problem with social media is that people can be, well, not so nice. In the real world there are bullies, and sure that's horrible. But when you get bullied in real life, you can go home or avoid those people. When you're on social media, those bullies can follow you home legally. Plus, it isn't just people you know, it's strangers all around the world. It's so bad that it's taken on it's own word "trolling". It happens even more often to celebrities because some people seem to think if you are famous, you cease being a real human with feelings.  Interaction. I will say this, with social media it is a two sided coin when it comes to human interaction. I personally feel like it has helped me a lot with connecting with people who "get" me, because most people that I know in real life don't. And aside from that, I've connected more with people

this past month I have been just so happy that the writers of PLL have found their footing again, and even though I am a hardcore Haleb shipper, I wasn't just upset about spaleb because of them, it was about the show in it's entirety and writing... because the show has always been at it's core: feminist, it's about the love between friends and how nothing can come between that, and they were never catty or stereotyped... then the love triangle happened, and I thought, they've given up the core values, they've went there and done something shallow and dramatic and it's awful... but then in the last episode they had the scene with spencer, caleb, and hanna and that's when it hit me... this is fantastic writing! it hurt me a lot, like so much, but they are not doing this like any other show I've ever seen, this is still the show I love and respect! they are not letting it go, they aren't having a catfight or switching boyfriends like clothes, or any

The friend and the stranger I’m going to tell a story; this is about a couple of friends I’ve had. One, I had been friends with for twelve years. The other friend was practically a stranger at the time of this story, I had met him briefly a few times but never held a conversation with him alone in my life. This is a story about attempted rape… (trigger warning) THE STRANGER The stranger spoke to me softly and led me away from the crowd, once we were alone he started to kiss me. The stranger was kind and gentle. THE FRIEND The friend found us, he was angry, I didn't know why but realized he was upset about someone “stealing” his “property” (me) THE STRANGER The stranger was upset as well, upset that he might’ve in some way caused trouble in my life. THE FRIEND Walked away angry, convinced a woman had done him wrong. THE STRANGER The stranger took me by the hand and led me to a secluded place, sharing laughs and kisses, all alone, away from ever

what is suffering? what causes it? well first of all, let's start somewhere near the beginning... "17  And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;" Genesis 3:17 so the earth became cursed because of Adam's sin, all of creation and everyone that was to be born was now punished because of the sin of Adam. This is where suffering comes from...sin. The original sin caused all disease and any other "natural" affliction. But it's the sinfulness of all mankind that causes much more suffering.  Greed is the reason for people starving.  Lust is cause for abortion, which is murder. Hatred is the cause of all sorts of evil deeds. why does God "allow" this? In the old testament He didn't always,  for example when man became o

it's so important to have supportive people around you, especially if you've been emotionally abused... I know this because I don't really have much of that, everything my ex tried to force on me, when I tell people, or when anyone stands up against those things I keep hearing that he was right, that those things he tried to force on me, are right... it's like the entire world agrees with him... I think that's why I can't get away from the anger, because each time I do or say something he would have disapproved of, I get the same disapproval from society, I feel like the entire world is taking his side but I KNOW I'm not wrong, God is the only one who is there by my side and He keeps reminding me that He is the one that got me out of that, so that CLEARLY means I was right in never "obeying" that psychopath... so the more people buckle down and try to convince me that I should be someone I'm not, the more I hear my ex, the more I distrust those

I used to love baking, I didn't mind cooking or doing "girly" things... Being in an abusive relationship changed that... he told me I shouldn't do anything as a hobby, that would draw attention to myself, stuff that wasn't "housewife hobbies" ...all my hobbies were supposed to be about pleasing him... he didn't think I should write or do any art... That I should just bake (which I liked doing) or learn to knit (like is this real life) he tried to tell me how to dress and what to eat... I always laughed in his face about all of it because NEVER in a million years would I EVER let a man on this earth tell me what to do, so I didn't think it affected me so much until I tried to enjoy baking and I don't, when I get asked to do anything "housewife" related my blood starts boiling with rage because no one is going to turn me into that, that's my mentality even though I used to enjoy some of those things on my own... I know it's wr

I am a writer, although I've never taken a writing class... my teacher's first and foremost God is my writing teacher, He gave me the gift and He has given me word after word after word. All my "natural ability" is just what God has instilled in me. My other teachers were the songwriters I grew up listening to, and authors whose books I read. Authors like Shakespeare, Poe, Stephen King, Karen Kingsbury and Anne Rice to name some of my favorites. The song writers Garth Brooks, Gwen Stefani, Gavin Rossdale, etc. but one of those writers was Prince, and because he was a songwriter that I learned from, I am not just a "fan"... I'm a student, as is any artist who has influences from other artists. There are so many people out there that are different, and about 90% of them are artists of some sort. Prince has often been known as being "weird", more so than most other musicians. The music he wrote didn't have a genre nor a time limit. And

disclaimer: people will be mad but this is my opinion... deal with it. what really supports this idea is emily fields... ninja. the girl is a ninja, and while she is my least favorite of the 6 main girls of Pretty Little Liars, I love her so much and well, she's a ninja. In the episode "pretty isn't the point", Hanna is only entering a pageant to win scholarship money because she has literally no other options. She hates pageants and her awesome boyfriend Caleb reminds her how awful they are but supports whatever it is that she needs to do (because he is the best boyfriend and a male feminist himself). Anyway, despite Ashley Benson being a real life trained dancer from the age of 4, her character Hanna, is not the best dancer so she enlists (literally forces) Emily to help her learn a dance routine. As Hanna goes off  the deep end thinking about her awful step sister Kate, and dances herself into a crazy dancing rage/seizure while the coach is watching, the

I'm not even about to explain any of this, so don't even ask. I just wrote my feelings and this came out   you don't have the first clue how to love there is not a piece of you that's selfless and every time I'm forced to remember you I get sick, uneasy and restless I know what love is in fact I'm probably in love now  and I'd take a bullet of any kind to keep him safe somehow Isn't that the one that was the aim of your stones that you tried to throw and then I begged and pleaded  for you to let me take the blow not so fun is it now that you're  at the bottom with those rocks  but your chains could never hold  someone who knows she always held the locks don't even try to tell me that you're sorry I already know you much too well I'm too strong to let you break me  and your lies came straight from...  hello here's your wake up call  you never were the best  everything you wante