writing, music and all things my opinion

Grief is such a stupid word, it's minimizing and it sounds common and non threatening, like "passed away" or "mourning" it's the sugarcoated words we use to make sure no one feels uncomfortable or intruded on by our pain or the terrible things that happen I don't feel grief, I feel heartbroken, and lonely, angry and defensive and depressed and it sucks, I can't be around people or ill have to fight tears or be "rude" because I don't feel like talking about the weather or something, or have to lie and say I'm fine when I'm not fine, I started to do laundry on Friday and forgot all about it until today, I don't feel like going out and having fun, I don't want to do my daily tasks or work on things I have to do or clean or any of it, it's a struggle to get out of bed... I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to think about it but it won't leave me alone

This line, in this movie was one of the many things I can look back on in my life that lets me know who I am, who I always was and who I'm meant to be. I remember as soon as she said this I felt something amazing. See what I hear most of the time is that people who start being like this, who stand up for human rights. Who stand up for what is right. Are brainwashed by hollywood propaganda. I'm not defending the people in hollywood, not everything they do is good, in fact it's mostly corrupt and there's a lot of discrimination within hollywood and all media as well. But here's something else, they don't have an agenda, they don't care if it's domocrat or republican, they care about money. And the people who work in hollywood are usually artists, artists see things that most people don't and they have ways of working their own beliefs into things. Those things get past the people in charge with ease as long as it will make them money. They aren't...

envy gluttony  greed lust pride sloth wrath and these are the 7 deadly sins, although this list is not in the Bible, these things are sinful and lead to self destruction. what I found interesting is that when I was thinking about these and researching about it, I found one list that described them all but sloth was a little more than what we usually hear. It said sloth was not only being lazy and not doing anything, but also just not using your God given talents. That was a good one, and I agree, most people think that if you have a mediocre 9-5 and just "get by" then you will be the "winner at life" because you always hear people complaining about how millennials don't want to have a real job, or artists are just lazy and are just doing it to avoid a "real" job. But when I think about it, they are more lazy. I know because I have a "real" job and if I were lazy I could just go to work and do the bare minimum and go home and do no...

there will be seven poems about a different subject, all relating to one another in some way and you can try and guess what they are individually and what connects them . This one will always grow and grow for every day that you don't let it go the things you wish upon the rest will eat you up until there is nothing left you give your time to get revenge but it's always going to fall on you  this spiteful sin tomorrow I will post the answer to the subjects and what connects them 

there will be seven poems about a different subject, all relating to one another in some way and you can try and guess what they are individually and what connects them . keeps piling up, things you let slip away you could fulfill a purpose or do nothing all day it's more than just an action, it's more than just a move it's about what you were made for, what you're meant to do you keep sitting on the sidelines hoping it's enough  but in the end it's got no meaning when enough is enough 

there will be seven poems about a different subject, all relating to one another in some way and you can try and guess what they are individually and what connects them . Watch your step before you fall means so much or nothing at all looking glass as big as the sky so great you don't even have to try come down from there looking at us yet we look at you like what's all the fuss if you have this trait then I'm afraid  we can't help you, come down, come down you must

there will be seven poems about a different subject, all relating to one another in some way and you can try and guess what they are individually and what connects them . the feeling you get deep within without a promise it's a sin though this feels right  it won't last the night wanting to just dig into your skin and pull you close  this is the one I seem to fail  at the most 

there will be seven poems about a different subject, all relating to one another in some way and you can try and guess what they are individually and what connects them. you want it all, in your mind you risk it all and can't be kind all that you can obtain for yourself leaving not one thing for anyone else  once you think it's enough you just need more there will never be satisfaction or a cure  everything you've got and somehow  you're the one that's poor 

there will be seven poems about a different subject, all relating to one another in some way and you can try and guess what they are individually and what connects them. Is it that you can't have to much or is too much not enough?  what keeps you going for this  consumption at the table with a cuff emptiness that drives you up the wall  come on when is enough, enough to just tell yourself "it might be time to stop can't I stop this" is just too rough to walk away and just let go and  put it to rest you're going to have to be tough 

there will be seven poems about a different subject, all relating to one another in some way and you can try and guess what they are individually and what connects them. you look to the left and you look to the right you don't hold it in your hand and you put up a fight the neighbor wants what they don't get to keep it's more than just a color, this monster goes deep this is one of how many things that are deadly if you could only look around it says it already you feel a void, so you fill the void but this is in your mind, not something you can avoid on the other side of the fence, things are the best but you can't reach and it won't satisfy you just to be a guest.

well I heard what you had to say  and for a moment it wasn't okay  darling you think you're special well maybe that is true  but that doesn't mean  I want anything more with you (chorus)  don't flatter yourself you aren't the canvas  just merely the paint  got more on the palette  wanna use your color without complaint  I can't help that you're easy to use you've got shades of reds and of blues I haven't seen not one shade of grey it isn't for spite this is for play a play on your words you chose to share first I know I'm the pink in those paintings you versed (chorus)  isn't that what hurts   each painting a reflection with each other's  true colors that we can't see?  I see the best in you  and you see the light in me?

I finished my latest poem/rap (because somehow it turned into a rap) it's quite negative and would make many people mad at me. And it's not that I am trying to be controversial and also I'm not about to hide who I am to please others, I'm just not sharing to avoid negativity for now. If I ever feel it's the right time to post it, I will. Because my writing is my art and I have learned and been mentored into always being open and unapologetic with my writing. So I am, however now isn't the time. Anyway I decided to brighten things up a bit with a random list of things that make me happy. This isn't about things that are super meaningful to me just things that I like, some however are very meaningful to me as well as just bringing joy to my life. God, of course. Spending time with Him is number one and makes me feel so joyous. iced coffee when musicians mix genres and duet with unexpected people benedict cumberbatch calling Aria munchkin cat when thin...

One thing I'm excited for is Christmas time. Not just the day of, but the whole season, because if you focus only on christmas day as some big huge event, then you end up disappointed. I love all of it, I love the cartoons, and movies, I love spending time with people I care about, I love the decorations. This year I'm going to not focus on it as one single day, but instead I'm going to enjoy the whole season each day and enjoy each "christmassy" thing I do or watch. I love Christmas so much and I especially love the real meaning of Christmas, which is that Christ chose to be born of a virgin in a poor family to die for us. This part of the challenge couldn't have came at a better time. Merry Christmas everyone.

I guess I turned 21 in 2006, I honestly don't even remember that birthday, like at all... umm I really don't remember what I did. This is awkward. I remember moments of life, I'm not at all good with dates, so... that's all.

I don't know if I use any particular words or phrases constantly but I have been told that I say "definitely" a lot, like rainman. And I've been told that I say "like" a lot, which I'm not proud of, like totally not. I don't really have a lot to say about that but I like definitely am excited to be done with this challenge soon.

What I wore today, well that's kind of funny because today is the first day I've been able to do my full workout since I got a cold last week. So for part of the day I was in workout gear, which involves these awesome yoga pants. However today is my real day off, no errands or anything and no work, so I am currently in my go-to lounging outfit which is VS PINK sweatpants and a band T-shirt. These are kind of my favorite things to wear, I'm forever a college student, even had taco bell for dinner. I feel like being a writer and being artistic allows for me to be like this without judging myself too much. Call me Mavis Gary with hopefully a better ending. Judge her all you want, but remember she was a successful author.

To all my exes, I'd like to say thank you. Thank you to most for being a lesson in what I don't want. And some of you for teaching me what I do want. And some of those are all mixed together. And some of you aren't technically exes at all, but you still fit in this somehow. Thank you to the one or two nice ones that I still get along with for being kind and proving the other ones wrong about how crazy and awful I am. Since we can get along just fine, I think it goes without saying where the problem really lies. And to you, the male version of me, you have taught me a lot, mostly how to not be ashamed of who I am, you taught me how to love myself and I will never regret what we had all those years ago. I've just started a new 'something' and because of all that I've learned in life to this point, I am a better person for him, I see in him all that I want, and I'm still learning about him but so far, it's literally crazy that this happened, right whe...

Just four? okay, four weird traits I have... Number one, I guess would be that I have a good memory. That sounds normal but it's almost at a eidetic level. I've often gotten comments about it, positive and negative. It's sort of like a photographic memory but mine is more based on audio. I remember what people said or what I have read or thought about. Not good with remembering date or figures at all. Just moments, tv or movie scenes, lyrics. Number 2, I'm a nerd, I get super into things that I like. PLL, once upon a time, hey arnold. I'm a major nerd. Number 3, I get emotionally attached to fictional characters, if they are portrayed by a good actor and are well written. Number 4, I am a cinephile, I love old movies and I love thinking about moments in scenes, I analyze the writing and acting and moments of a film's aesthetic. I guess that could fit into the nerd category but I didn't want to get too deep into this... there are like so many more w...

This is not very bold or dramatic of me and as a writer, that's a no-no, but at this time, so much has been going on with me and everyone else it seems like, that I'm not going to go into anything depressing, I miss a lot of people who have passed, I miss a cute boy who I just saw this morning, I miss Pretty Little Liars, and I will really miss it when it is over. How about instead of talking about something specific that I miss, I write about what it could mean to miss something? sound alright? Yes? Okay good. There are so many different levels of missing someone or something. Like missing the old days, your childhood, tv shows that are no longer airing. That's nostalgia. Then there is missing someone who has passed on, and that is grief. But what do you call it when you're not heartbroken, but you miss someone you care about? I can't think of a word that fits with that kind of missing someone. Maybe longing? which is defined as a yearning desire? but you...

I can't really believe this is one of them but then again, I have a lot to say about this. There are some people in my family that I am closer too, mostly based on actual geographical location. I've had ups and downs with most of my family. Whether it was disapproving of something they were doing or whether they got mad at me. Actually I have a family member that is probably currently mad at me right now over politics, and it's one of my favorite people in the world. But first of all that person is family, I don't care if she lit me on fire, I would still love her. Because the thing is the only reason I have ever gotten mad at any member of my family, is because I wanted what was best for them. I have never actually disliked someone in my family and I would never, ever turn my back on not a single one of them. I know eventually things will settle down and we'll be friends again. And I don't care how mad they are at me or vice versa, I would literally die for t...